


The Diary of a Teenage Biker

by benae_emani



Category: Sons of Anarchy
Genre: Abandonment, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst, Depression, F/M, Heartache, Heartbreak, Heavy Angst, Inner Dialogue, Leaving Home, Love, Love Confessions, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, POV Male Character, References to Depression, Sadness, Single POV, Smoking, Soulmates
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-11
Updated: 2020-12-18
Packaged: 2021-03-09 21:47:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,018
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27993228
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/benae_emani/pseuds/benae_emani
Summary: This was started on my tumblr blog, benaeemani.tumblr.comThis is an AU in which Tara leaves and Jax just pours all his emotions into his diary.
Relationships: Tara Knowles/Jax Teller
Comments: 6
Kudos: 7





	1. 4 Hours

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tara Knowles has left Charming, at least that's what the town gossip is saying, but Jax doesn't believe that she would leave him, not like this.

**Chapter 1: 4 Hours**

* * *

_4 Hours Since Tara Left_

They’re saying that Tara is  _ gone _ , that her old man found a note on the kitchen counter, and that all her shit was packed up and left with, but that  _ can’t  _ be true. Tara  _ wouldn’t  _ leave me. 

We still have  _ so  _ much to talk about in regards to our relationship and the club. Tara promised me a chance to explain how we would do this, how I could balance our relationship  _ and  _ the club.

I know in my heart that she isn't gone. She wouldn't just leave, not without giving me a chance to explain myself. I have to find her. They are saying that her dad found the note a little over two hours ago, which means she could not have gone far.

I have to find her. I have to make her understand that we can do this, we  _ can  _ have it all, and she does not need to leave Charming. It  _ hurts _ to know that the girl that I love thinks she needs to  _ abandon  _ me to be who she wants to be.

Her girlfriends are losing their minds right about now because she didn't tell them. Sutton has been inconsolable ever since she found out, and if Tara wasn't with me, she and Sutton were somewhere causing trouble.

The rest of her girls are trying to help me find her though, except Gisselle she's staying behind to comfort Sutton. And though yes, I would love to beat the shit out of someone to feel good, I  _ need  _ to find Tara first.

Tara's old man said that the last time he saw her was around 6:00 this morning when he woke up, and he found the note around 8:00, and now it's a little after 10:00. That means that she has been gone for at _least_ 2-4 hours.

I've been looking _all_ over town looking for her. Where the _fuck_ are you, Tara? _Why_ are you acting this way? You _promised_ me a chance to explain myself, and then you fucking disappear.

Vera is cursing in Russian, and Isadora is racking her brain, trying to find out where Tara could have possibly gone. She didn't take her dad's cutlass, so _either_ she took a taxi somewhere, _or_ someone came for her.

Clay and the guys are also looking for her while mom's at home calling, anyone she can think of that knows Tara. Op and Donna are trying to talk to her old man to find out if Tara told him anything else that we can use to find her.

This is driving me crazy. We need to find her before I completely lose it.  _ Who _ would she talk to to help her leave Charming? All her friends and family live  _ in  _ Charming. And when she wasn't at school, she was either with me at Teller-Morrow or with her girls.

I just need to find my old lady. I need to talk to her and _sincerely_ apologize.

_ Tara where are you? Please come home... _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, if you want to follow me my tumblr is benaeeemani. Kudos, comments, and constructive criticism are appreciated.


	2. 8 Hours

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s been 8 hours since Tara has left and Jax is still trying to find her. He is on the verge of losing his mind.

**Chapter 2: 8 Hours**

* * *

_8 Hours Since Tara Left_

Jesus, Tara, where the _fuck_ are you? You're driving me, _crazy_ babe. I'm looking everywhere for you.

We know for an _absolute_ fact that she is _not_ in Charming. So now we are going to start looking in Stockton and Lodi. She couldn't have gotten far, not on foot at least. Maybe she called someone, but who? All her friends live in Charming.

Her aunt, Lorna, is the only possible person she could contact that doesn't live in Charming. _Fuck,_ it's been about 6-8 hours since she left. She could be in San Diego with her aunt right now.

Why did I not think of this sooner? She's always calling her for something or the other. I need to call her and see if she's heard from Tara because this _can't_ be the end of us.

She is supposed to be my old lady, my wife. We were going to make a family, no, not we _were_ , we _are_ going to make a family. I'm _going_ to find her _and_ convince her to come home. We _are_ going to get married and have _all_ those kids we talked about. And she's _still_ going to be the doctor she's dreamed of being.

If I can just _find_ her and _get_ a chance to explain myself, I know that she will come back home. I just _can't_ let us end like this.

Sutton has finally stopped crying, and both her and Gisselle have joined the search. They're going through her shit to find any clues on where she went because if Lorna doesn't know where Tara is, I will be at a complete loss.

This shit is _slowly_ driving me fucking insane. Why would Tara just up and leave? This isn't like her at all. The entire town is looking for her, and the club is reaching out to other charters that are close to here to put them on notice.

Come on, Tara, why are you doing this to me, to us? Your girls are going crazy babe, they're looking under _rocks_ trying to find you. Your old man is getting drunk and saying crazy shit like always, but he's looking for you too. Baby, _all_ I need you to do is come home.

Unser is calling into the San Joaquin County Sheriff Department and telling them to look out for you. I don't think someone kidnapped you, Tara, but I don't know why you would just leave.

My mom is devastated. She's trying to play it off right now, but I saw the look on her face when she found out you were gone. You're like the daughter she always wanted.

Gosh, Tara, what would drive you to do this? Am I really that bad of a boyfriend? How didn't I notice that the look in your eyes meant you were ready to jump ship. I just thought you were trying to figure out how we were going to do this.

_ This shit is getting crazy, Tara babe, come home. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, if you want to follow me my tumblr is benaeeemani. Kudos, comments, and constructive criticism are appreciated. Also and extra thanks to dstudent and MsBanshee who liked and commented on the last chapter.


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